Directed by: Rich Moore and Phil Johnston
Runtime: 112 glitchy goat minutes
I am perhaps not the best choice to review Ralph Breaks the Internet, the successor to 2012’s Wreck-It Ralph, which has received far more favourable reviews from other critics. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first, and I found this entry to be unnecessary and largely humourless, with a lot of its jokes being dated and explained in detail to ensure that audience members that may not be too familiar with that strange and obscure thing called “the internet” don’t get lost. It’s not a cinematic atrocity by any stretch of the imagination. Its cast turn in some quality performances. The nastiest thing I can say about it is that it is boring. I’m sure those who enjoy the Ralph character will take umbrage with me saying that. If you liked the first one, you’ll probably find something to like in this one. But you have Into the Spider-Verse playing in cinemas right now. I don’t understand why someone would choose to go and see this film when they could just watch some Spidey again.
Ralph is an unlikeable lug. John C. Reilly breathes as much life into him as possible. His heart is always in the right place, but his thoughts aren’t, and then they actively take that heart away from him. He is overly obsessed with Vanellope (Sarah Silverman—who is surprisingly endearing in the role) to the point he actively plots against ruining her happiness. The moral of the story is don’t be possessive. If only possessive individuals only needed to hear that.
Vanellope is far more deserving of the patience she doles out for Ralph. Disney’s Animation Studios have done a great job rendering her to be as cute as possible, and they seem hyper-aware of this, and make sure they spend time lingering on her adorable eyes. She feels far less limited in terms of her ability to exist on a real emotional spectrum, and a lot of the film is her realising that she’s perhaps better off with some space from Ralph.
Wreck-It Ralph used the nostalgic cache of iconic video game characters to endear itself to audiences. Moving away from that into the realms of tired jokes about internet memes is sure to date this film’s content far more than the original. Is anyone nostalgic about screaming goat videos? And yes, this film does try to make that a thing again. It’s like someone had the idea for the joke sometimes in the six years since Wreck-It Ralph and they just couldn’t divorce themselves from these “witty observations” in any of the re-writing processes. The end result is a film that is almost as needy as its titular character.
“Look at how vapid internet culture is”, is a point reiterated by this film. You do stupid things on video, you get likes, which makes you money. But don’t read the comment sections, because that is an excuse for people to say mean things about you. Nothing emerges of this point. Nothing changes or is challenged. Ralph tears up because he’s been prostituting himself for laughs and that’s it.
Given the original’s penchant for pimping nostalgia, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the most successful moments in this film are due to Disney’s intellectual property. There are Disney references, Star Wars characters, and even a cameo from Stan Lee. The bits about the Disney princesses are laboured. The film wants to make a statement about being a princess—about how sometimes a woman just wants to feel comfortable. But it needs these princesses to trot out so we can say, “Remember that princess?” It’s this odd push-and-pull effect. This film seems to resent princesses as it simultaneously idolises them.
Things happen. Ralph breaks the internet. I was ready for it to end a whole act before it did. It seemed like Ralph and Vanellope were about to achieve their goal, but then a musical number happened and the goals changed. This is not an awful film, but you can easily skip it and get more meat from Sonic the Hedgehog. The original 16-bit game. I’m not exactly super-excited about Wreck-It Ralph 3, but if it’s another six years between Ralphs then at least that’s something. I’m glad everyone got paid.
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